a great sign

you know the song of ace of base, i saw the sign? “i saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes, i saw the sign!” this was definitely my anthem yesterday when i found out i made it to a literary workshop!

it started with me cramming to meet the deadline. i was editing my poems beginning apr 8, then rushing to LBC on apr 14 to meet the apr 15 cut-off. that time, i prayed to God that i am marking this as a source of a sign, that if i don’t make it to THIS workshop, then i would have to stop writing poetry as my craft, as one of my vocation. i can write poems and verses in my journals, but i would have to stop myself from working towards being recognized as a poet if i don’t make it to this workshop. for the rest of april, i was worried. i even went so far as negotiating with God regarding the condition i set; i was agitated because if i didn’t make it, i shall then block the very oxygen of my life.

the said workshop’s organizing committee only accepts 15 participants from all over the Philippines for poetry, fiction and plays; language choice is not a barrier since translations are required.

i found out i was accepted yesterday; the first two persons whom i shared the good news with were eugeney and nimu, two of the sincere people in my office. i cried to them, even wiping my tears using eugene’s sleeve (yikes, embarassing). sir adel wasn’t around, so i wasn’t able to tell him. then i broke the news to my sister and to the other important people in my life. they didn’t know it was a life or death situation for me. and now, God gave me a great sign, and I reclaimed what is, hopefully, truly mine.

now it’s back to reality: 1) the horrors of packing (i’m a hoarder; for an overnight trip, i do panic-packing. good luck to me since this workshop is a 6-day affair); 2) the plane ride; 3) me going off alone, first time, to mindanao (before i got accepted, i only had a vague knowledge where iligan is) when friends know for a fact i am hopeless with directions and locations (i got lost in admu even during my 3rd year there; glorietta is still a maze for me; rockwell is survival land); 4) my works being shorn to bits by criticisms, my dignity being thrown out the window onto mindanao mud; 5) socializing with strangers; 6) taking a leave from work (oh, the withdrawal symptoms and the guilt!). i am so grateful that a friend of mine offered to fix the trip requirements (plane reservations, oh the horror). (jaja, don’t worry, i’m slowly but surely learning the ropes. i shall be a candice in no time [fingers crossed])

but at the end of the day, it will all work out. it has to. what doesn’t kill me will make me stronger. as louise gluck asserts, “i need you, and i claim you.” and i indeed needed this; it was given to me, i am claiming it, and i am so damn grateful.

*********************************

EXHIBIT A

May 2, 2008

[my full name here]
[my address]
[my address]

Dear Ms. [my surname],

Congratulations! You have been chosen one of 15 writing fellows to ___________________to be held at _______ on May 26-31, 2008.

As a writing fellow for poetry (English) from Luzon, you will be given a transportation allowance of P6,000.00 and free board and lodging.

Please confirm your attendance on or before May 16.

If you are accepting the writing fellowship, we expect you to be present during the opening program on May 26. Please prepare an offering (pen, flower, handkerchief, drawing, etc.) and a prayer for writers during the opening program.

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15 thoughts on “a great sign

  1. fredjordan says:

    hi… can i know your name? im a fellow for poetry in this workshop. just asking because i want to add a link in your name. πŸ™‚

  2. Jaja says:

    OMG!!! Congratulations, Eva!!! I am so proud of you! See? You’re a poet. In denial ka lang. Hehe.

    Teka, ba’t di mo ako sinabihan agad ha?! Hehe. Pero okay lang. I’m sooo happy for you. πŸ™‚ Finally, a much-needed break… at sa Mindanao pa! Bongga! Hehehe. Na-excite ako for you. Good luck!!! πŸ™‚

  3. evaluna08 says:

    @fredjordan – so you’re also a dumaguete fellow? i forgot they hold that summer time din. my friend attended dumaguete in 2004, i think, for fiction. congratulations for bagging the two workshops; that’s really something. πŸ™‚ i shall see you in iligan. would you know the time of the opening ceremony? i’m planning to cram my travel by leaving manila at dawn of the 26th. or is my plan too crazy?

    @jaji my dear – i wanted to tell you in person, para mas sweet, but again, you beat me online. hmpf, and you’re the one who’s tampo. dapat ako may tampo since naunahan mo ako sa plan ko. haha! so where are you? you better be in manila. i shall kill you if you’ve already left without telling me (but how can i kill you if you’ve left. hmm..)
    samahan mo ko sa iligan. jaji, my dreams are slowly coming true. our dream of traveling should be really in the works, ha? like india! and morocco. and african safari. πŸ™‚ plus that lighthouse pilgrimate. can’t wait!

  4. evaluna08 says:

    @jaji – wrong spelling; i meant pilgrimage. it’s upper’s birthday today! our little boy is now a man. aww.. πŸ™‚

  5. Jaja says:

    hehe, bakit nga bawal mag-edit ng comment sa blog mo?! pasaway ang layout na ito! hahaha!

    of course i’m still here in manila. i’ll text you naman if I’m in Mars na eh. though sana may signal dun. hehe. ay nako, i’d love to go to iligan. mindanao yun, tama? hehe. but we have to go to india also. and morocco? kelan nabuo ang planong ito? heheh. anywhere but here sounds fine. πŸ™‚

    as for the lighthouse pilgrimage, i’ll be with you on one of those. maghahanap muna ako ng lighthouse na gusto kong puntahan para ma-save ko yung lighthouse na yun. tipong “Eva! When you go to this lighthouse, ako ang kasama mo! Wala ng iba! Save!” Hehe.

    I’m glad your dreams are coming true, evs. you deserve it.

  6. Jaja says:

    pahabol: ayan ka na naman sa cramming mo. oi, travel ito, iha. kailangan mo ng pahinga. baka majetlag ka. (naks, parang from earth to pluto ang byahe eh noh?! hehe.) don’t cram your travel arrangements! give yourself time to breathe in the new environment. have fun!!! pasalubong ko! (ano ba meron sa iligan?)

    yes, nakapasa sya! pa-burger ka naman! burger! burger! burger! (dapat sa unang comment ko pala ito pinost. nakalimutan ko lang. hehe)

    hahahaha, yes, upper is now a man! hahahaha!

  7. SAM says:

    hi! stranger here πŸ™‚ i bagged the fellowship too! i’ll be seeing you in iligan πŸ™‚ i have a stupid q here, so we’re going to arrange the travel ourselves right? haha, thanks eva πŸ™‚

  8. evaluna08 says:

    hi! how’d you stumble upon my blog? πŸ™‚ i shall see you there! yup, we have to be the ones to arrange the travel requirements (PAL and Cebu Pacific are our options). we will be reimbursed on the 3rd or 4th day of the workshop period, as per ms pat cruz, so keep the receipt just to be sure. you think we’ll be given time to hit the beach? πŸ˜‰

  9. superupper says:

    I’M SOOOOO PROUD OF YOU, VANGOW!!!!!!

    Weeeee! After the CCP exhibit, now the Iligan Workshop. So happy for you!

    Naeexcite ako for you. πŸ™‚ Blog about your tour ha! I miss you and love you sooo much!

    Ingat sila sayo dun. Nako. πŸ˜›

  10. superupper says:

    Teka! Baket ako nasama sa usapan niyo ni Ja about dun sa birthday ko at man na ako.

    Hahaha! Ang mean nyo. πŸ˜›

    Girl ako. Girl.

    Love,

    Upper the woman πŸ˜€

  11. evaluna08 says:

    @superupper – “what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man!” up, grabe, kung di lang ako faithful kay baby gael, baby ping medina and baby johnny depp, sasagutin kita. i’m sorry.. πŸ˜€

  12. SAM says:

    hi eva again! πŸ™‚ i googled inww hence leading to your site πŸ™‚
    anyways yep i’ll see you! booked my ticket to cdo na. i bet we have the time to hit the beach (or falls?) πŸ˜€ takecare!

  13. superupper says:

    Hindi ako boy! Hindi ako boy! Si Dilou ang boy! πŸ˜›

  14. yas says:

    ang cute. πŸ™‚

    ngayon ko lang nabasa yung conversation through comments nyo ni jordan and sam. πŸ™‚

  15. weight of words says:

    yeah, we sounded formal here pa, even asking about travel details and workshop activities. we didn’t know pa that we’d end up going crazy together. πŸ˜€ si sara sisterette also mentioned when we were hanging out in iligan that she saw “this” blog with an emo theme when she googled the names of the 15th inww attendees, tapos opposite non, she saw sam’s glittery livejournal blog. i think she was referring to my blog. this isn’t an emo theme. darn πŸ˜€

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