Monthly Archives: December 2008

even this entry will manage to self-destruct

you know you’re in a self-destructive mode when:

you find yourself being confronted by friends about buried issues
you work 50-60 hours a week
you pine for people who are long gone
your career goals are zilch
you find yourself shutting out your family
you are diagnosed with an illness
you still insist on doing intensive activities even if they are bad for you
you sleep when the stars go blue
you feel you just don’t care about things
you don’t write in your journal anymore

maybe it’s the season. it’s not even that chilly like in past years, but my heart is turning into a sheath of ice. even my dogs avoid me. i’m tempted to create a sign that says “thaw me” and pin it on my shirt. but even my hands crackle with the chill.