Monthly Archives: March 2010

marching on

(this post was created in the first few days of March)

at 27 years old and weeks shy from turning a year older (*gasp, that fast?), i am again oscillating from mediocrity to rare spikes of magis-ism and from moving forward to sprinting back to the past.

for one, i was invited to be part of HEIGHTS sesquicentennial edition. i think they’ve chosen 150 writers (or are featuring 150 works? sorry i got this bit muddled up) to be part of this edition, and i am tickled pink to be part of this. but not so much when it comes to an extra requirement–a photo of the writer by his or her writer’s desk. ooh, i feel like the rabbit in alice’s wonderland just racing away for lack of time. and finding my picture in a book? that terrifies me to no end. everything is all a mess with this desk and writer business. and choosing one or two poems? easy as learning to cut your very own tresses layer-style. status: zilch progress. deadline: in five days.

i’ve stumbled upon adel gabot’s one of many blogs (blog.adelgabot.com) and it is always a comfort to read his words. you just get the feeling of perpetually sharing a joke between the two of you and keeping this a secret just gives you church giggles. sir adel, as always, we like the same things. let’s set up a sheldon fanbase, shall we? i’ll be secretariat in charge of collecting his snarks. oh, it will be wicked joy. you need to bag another Palanca, sir A. it’s a must.

i need to find another work and find another home for kids to volunteer in. and find myself in the midst of things. i want to feel less sad deep within and bask in the everyday nonchalance and evening giggles with my partner, jazzy. i need to set an appointment with another doctor (you know me and doctors with our never-ending and oh so exciting moments together). i need to spend more time with the people i truly love and shake off the ones that are just deadwood.

i’ve never really shaken off this quarter life crisis sense of doom. but hey, i get to steal some random moments of happiness, too. i’ll take that.

edgar degas's two ballerinas

and before i forget, i got to enroll in M.A. degree!! FINALLY. now about that entrance exam… i am always close to panic every time there’s an academic exam i have to take. this self-inflicted pressure is killing me. i just hope i don’t mess this up. whether i do mess it up or ace it (my competitive spirit is in high gear, too!!!!), i have ballet classes to look forward to. joy of joys, i am finally taking up ballet in a very professional environment (last year was a one-on-one workshop with a very chillax instructor). like a kid with a new pair of shoes, i found myself trying on my ballet shoes from time to time. giddy!

everyday of my life is a caricature reflection of calvin’s messy, fatalistically comic and sly temperament. all i lack is a tiger of a friend. better fix up a tuna sandwich and bait me a tiger. 🙂

bill wattterson's first strip of the boy and the tiger who could

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gapang

gapang is a Filipino word for crawl.

i recall this because that is what i am doing for my very own career-oriented (but not boxed in, mind you) website right now. yes, i have succumbed. howard “bogs” paw will titter and will berate. oh well, bogs, i need to establish myself in order to have more money for food and for books and for shoes and for my dream advocacy and… the list just goes on.

so check out http://www.evagubat.com if you want to take a break from Facebook. and if you see technical glitches, say, widgets that just don’t work, well that’s me at my best gapang moment, still trying to search for the light.