(this post was created in the first few days of March)
at 27 years old and weeks shy from turning a year older (*gasp, that fast?), i am again oscillating from mediocrity to rare spikes of magis-ism and from moving forward to sprinting back to the past.
for one, i was invited to be part of HEIGHTS sesquicentennial edition. i think they’ve chosen 150 writers (or are featuring 150 works? sorry i got this bit muddled up) to be part of this edition, and i am tickled pink to be part of this. but not so much when it comes to an extra requirement–a photo of the writer by his or her writer’s desk. ooh, i feel like the rabbit in alice’s wonderland just racing away for lack of time. and finding my picture in a book? that terrifies me to no end. everything is all a mess with this desk and writer business. and choosing one or two poems? easy as learning to cut your very own tresses layer-style. status: zilch progress. deadline: in five days.
i’ve stumbled upon adel gabot’s one of many blogs (blog.adelgabot.com) and it is always a comfort to read his words. you just get the feeling of perpetually sharing a joke between the two of you and keeping this a secret just gives you church giggles. sir adel, as always, we like the same things. let’s set up a sheldon fanbase, shall we? i’ll be secretariat in charge of collecting his snarks. oh, it will be wicked joy. you need to bag another Palanca, sir A. it’s a must.
i need to find another work and find another home for kids to volunteer in. and find myself in the midst of things. i want to feel less sad deep within and bask in the everyday nonchalance and evening giggles with my partner, jazzy. i need to set an appointment with another doctor (you know me and doctors with our never-ending and oh so exciting moments together). i need to spend more time with the people i truly love and shake off the ones that are just deadwood.
i’ve never really shaken off this quarter life crisis sense of doom. but hey, i get to steal some random moments of happiness, too. i’ll take that.
and before i forget, i got to enroll in M.A. degree!! FINALLY. now about that entrance exam… i am always close to panic every time there’s an academic exam i have to take. this self-inflicted pressure is killing me. i just hope i don’t mess this up. whether i do mess it up or ace it (my competitive spirit is in high gear, too!!!!), i have ballet classes to look forward to. joy of joys, i am finally taking up ballet in a very professional environment (last year was a one-on-one workshop with a very chillax instructor). like a kid with a new pair of shoes, i found myself trying on my ballet shoes from time to time. giddy!
everyday of my life is a caricature reflection of calvin’s messy, fatalistically comic and sly temperament. all i lack is a tiger of a friend. better fix up a tuna sandwich and bait me a tiger. 🙂(