that’s it

this is what my friend karen valeza says for eureka moments.

that’s it. it’s gratifying to say it to yourself (or even out loud!) when you’ve proven to yourself a point or two.

so that’s it for the following:

– my good friend belen is now a doctor! yey! she deserves it. congratulations to all scholasticans/kulasas who made it.

– this day made me swear off ‘bad’ friends — unhealthy presence, dead weight, who pull one down. crab mentality is said to be a characteristic of filipinos. but ever since learning about Cultural Studies, i’ve learned about interpellation. say, you heard someone calling out, “hey you”. without even waiting for your name to be called, you turn around and acknowledge that vague summons. assuming, in colloquial terms. but in nosebleed mode, it means you’ve claimed and are living out his or her ‘recognition’ of you. thus we are living up to that stereotype that we are a people imbibing crab mentality (among other wondrous fruits of ideology). but setting aside serious jargon what with my post-pissed-off phase, i can feel my resentment gutting my flesh out. to be crass, ibang level, their sense of entitlement. to paraphrase a kick-ass quote from “she’s the man” (yes, yes, i admit, it’s a guilty pleasure): girls with sensibility like mine do not hang out with girls with vapid personalities like yours. that’s it.

– my thirty-something friends who jazz generously ‘shared’ with me. they are super sweet and loving and caring AND beastly and all monstrous and mothering when friends of theirs get hurt. i am blessed to be buffered by these people.

– another raket that’s difficult with a work contract to match having ambiguous terms. should have known better.

– 3 papers due this month, 1 objective exam scheduled, 1 delayed magazine issue that should be released asap, writing gig, ballet, brewing business, drive to save more for that target trip and that target savings, etc. etc. plus my hunger to write and write and read and read poetry = one very agitated girl.

that’s it.


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