Monthly Archives: December 2012

a write-up, a room, a song

If I like your type of nice, you could ask me to do favors for you such as the following: I could write a short description of yourself for your “first day at the office” intro to your officemates and future drinking buddies. Which is what I did for a good friend.

Here’s the write-up:
Earth-shatteringly sweet. Wordsmith. Looks at the world in a skewed way. Geek and is proud of it. Someone told him that he’s like Scott Pilgrim. Should he believe her? Will look for the most elusive word out there if his life depended on it.

If I like your type of nice, you could ask favors from me. If I like your type of nice.


So I spent one night at a hospital. V’s mom needed to be confined, and I found out I was *needed* there. I remain fearful of hospitals whether they’re located in Taft or in Las Pinas. I had to look away when a body was wheeled out in a gurney. I dashed out like the Mad Hatter late for an appointment when the only entry and exit points were found at the emergency ward and we needed to step out for some errands.

The room was freakishly cold. I wrapped myself with a blanket, a comforter, and a towel, and I still felt cold. The room had several windows with sliding glass cover. My brain was on overdrive, imagining things. It came to a point that I felt the tip of my nose freezing over, and little cracks started to show on my flesh. I tried speaking in a Slavic tongue, fantasizing that I was in Russia. I was waiting for someone to offer me a shot of vodka, but the only drinking vessel available was a mug, and there was only water.


Listening to Devics’ A Secret Message to You…
Remembering the person who suggested that I listen to this song…
Eating a bag of chips while listening to Devic’s A Secret Message to You and remembering the person who suggested that I listen to this song…

is this really is it? :>

That question or its morphed version (see title) will be one of the questions that will echo in the minds of Filipinos when December 21 hits our side of the world.

Many have offered their opinions about it to the point that a local anthology has been set up about it. (Join the contest here for a free digital copy; incidentally, my and some friends’ works are found in the anthology >> click here to read all about the contest)

So before the world fizzles out tomorrow, here’s an entry I composed in September. Totally unrelated, but I would like to go down with an entry like this one posted on this blog. And if the big end doesn’t push through, I can’t wait to blog how disappointed we’ll all be for the world’s greatest postponement.


(entry written sometime in late September 2012)

one of the reasons why orphans and their welfare are part of my personal crusade is because i. get. them.

i know how maddening it is to wake up flailing and to not have roots to anchor you.

i tweeted recently that only a few truly know me, a handful, around five people. i respect these people because they, like me, are still in the process of knowing themselves and rediscovering the sheer joy of claiming who they really are.

this is what a true friend said when she heard about the lousy things people are saying about me: “my baby is not like that, what those people are saying about her.”

i have always fought my fights (and stirred fights that are not my own), but seeing how she wanted to rage and rave and rant for me was endearing. we were drinking beer at 4PM, there were gold leaves dancing above our heads, and she was fighting my fight. it made me tear up, made me excuse myself to use the restroom.

it is strange and eerie how my life and hers have similar tangents. i thought, if i could make it, really make it past the devils cradling me, this is my future — a steady hand resting on the table, an honest voice, a defiant look with a clutch of songs that follow my days.