about her

“No, one must remember the dead; weep softly, but grieve long.” – S. Kierkegaard

It’s November. I let October slide away because October is my ghost month. October is the month things start going wobbly. Well, October or September of every year since years and years back.

You know how you expect television series to start a new set of episodes at an appointed month? I like that sense of certainty. Because come that certain month, that show WILL be airing, for sure. There are series that have witnessed the ups and downs of my life, similar with how there are people who have seen me at different stages in my life. One is Glenn, the other is Lois.

I am writing this to commemorate the 14th death anniversary of my stepmom. It’s a yearly vigil I keep. It’s one consistent aspect of my life, next to my love for music and cats, next to the existence of my tattoos.

“Some things just can’t be fixed.”

Whatever I do or say, she is gone. It’s just what it is.

Two things are for sure: If she were alive today, she would fall in love with my cats in all their sweet monstrosity. If she were alive today, she would look past my being an asshole, she would claim me as her own sweet monster.

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