I have not been writing for months.
My job and life drain me. As it is, I don’t have a family of my own, but the upkeep of the house and those that belong inside my house is taxing. But I am lucky enough. Every one that counts is healthy, the furry kids are healthy, I despite my illnesses am struggling to be healthy, my job gives me security.
Today, I decided to watch the last episode of Grey’s Anatomy season 10. This season is closer to my heart because it has the character, Cristina Yang, as the focal point in the latter part of the season. She is who I am in the series, and her decisions, her words, and some of her choices would have been mine if she were an actual person and I were in her shoes.
In the series, she leaves for another job in Switzerland, and I am proud of her as if she were a real friend.
Cristina’s “person,” a.k.a. best friend and light, Meredith, pushes her to leave Seattle for good and fly to Switzerland, no more excuses and enough of Cristina’s wish to finalize the small things. Thinking that Cristina is on her way to the airport, Meredith is surprised to see her back in the hospital.
Cristina: “We have to finish. We have to dance it out. That’s how we finish.”
As an aside: For those people who know me, I LOVE to dance. As to my cats, they know I love to dance. They have seen me in my underwear and without, dancing whatever it is out. They have suffered through my dance-outs to even start caring.
Meredith chooses a song close to my heart. It was one of the first songs I learned how to play on the ukulele, and it remains one of the songs of the band that never fails to knot my heart’s strings.
The song was Tegan and Sara’s Where Does the Good Go?
I had an idea that a Tegan and Sara song was to be used in that scene. I guessed that it would be Hop a Plane or Where Does the Good Go?
It’s always good to be partly right. It’s better to be fully right.
Like Cristina, I still need to do crazy things that I promised to do with one or two people. I still need to keep my word about skinny dipping with Jepoy and about dancing with Kat in a cemetery with us wearing tutus and tiaras. I still have to visit more lighthouses, a pact I made with myself and with the creatures I bring with me when I travel. I still have to write more poems. I still have to find or realize who my person is. I still have to do a lot of mental dredging, maybe see my brain doctor, or maybe just dance it off.
Here is the dance-out scene, Grey’s Anatomy, season 10 (copyrights belong to the proper parties, not to me)
And if you want to reminisce, here are more Cristina-dominated dance scenes (copyrights belong to the proper parties, not to me).